(This production deserves a premiere in New York. If this is something you'd like to have happen, please contact Jim at Center for Contemporary Opera). | This photo was taken after the performance of A Death in the Family, William Mayer's opera on the novel of the same name, at the Szeged National Theatre in Szeged, Hungary. I loved being a part of this cast, and I love what our amazing director, Robert Alfoldi, did with this production. It remains one of the most beautiful, moving, and meaningful professional experiences I've had. I'm thinking about gratitude today. So I'm grateful for the people who got me into this production: Jim Schaeffer, Center for Contemporary Opera, Heidi Lauren Duke. I'm also grateful to the amazing friends I made, who continue to be some of my nearest and dearest. |
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It's out of my hands. I've done what I can do. I showed up. I cast my vote. I said my peace. I encouraged others to do the same.
I am a workaholic. I am compelled to chase every idea I have. I feel responsible for fixing every problem for which I can perceive a solution. This is possibly my most defining characteristic - at least in my own characterization of myself. There are some amazing upsides: I founded an opera company with no money, and only human resources, which, more than a decade later, continues to thrive against all odds. I've performed in operas across the world. I've designed policies and procedures, rebuilt filing systems, built databases, built accounting systems, raised money, produced concerts, written millions of words, sent and received bazillions of emails, repaired broken professional relationships for employers, collected tens of thousands of dollars in unpaid invoices, joined clubs, attended live performances, memorized millions of notes and words in foreign languages, taught countless voice lessons, and driven hundreds of thousands of miles. My life is rich for the people I've met and the experiences I've had. I am perpetually pushed to the limits of what my brain and body can handle. It's all very stimulating. There are also downsides: I've lost important relationships. I failed in my marriage. I have alienated friends and family members. I've shed many tears. I've missed important events in other people's lives. I've lost thousands of hours of sleep. I've made myself sick. I've had panic attacks. I've suffered from crippling depression. I've divided and subdivided my attention many times over. I've missed out on my own life because I was too focused on what came next. I've been profoundly lonely, lost, and unhappy. I've felt like I would never, ever be enough. I am not alone in my workaholism. My struggle is not special or new or set apart from the struggles of others. But it's my struggle. Seth Godin's quote, which is the subject of this blog post, showed up in my inbox this morning. It spoke to me. I believe he meant it as a call to action - that we should all do what we can do, but I heard it as a call to let go, to sit still, and to have faith. It will be particularly hard to do those things today, given the stakes, but me wringing my hands will accomplish nothing. Obsessively refreshing FiveThirtyEight will not change the outcome. Posting articles on the echo-chamber that is Facebook will not sway anyone in my circles to vote any differently than they'd already planned. For me, as a citizen and not a campaign staffer, having already cast my vote, the work is done. I want to be more present, more relaxed, more healthy, more available, and free from the pressure of self-imposed obligations. I want my artistry to be more complete and my experience of life on this planet to be more whole. I want my relationships to be as deep and as meaningful as they can be. If I can use today, this election day, to practice non-doing, maybe that's a good start. And maybe that's enough.
If I were the arbiter of all things, I would abolish Day Light Savings. The one extra hour we "gain" when we turn the clocks back each fall makes my church job a little easier for that one day, but does not make up for the week of fatigue and disorientation that follows, nor the seemingly unending period of darkness. Those cold months are hard enough without the sun setting at 4:00 p.m. How is one to stay motivated to do anything at all besides watch Netflix and drink hot chocolate?
Of course if I were the arbiter of all things, I'm fairly certain that Day Light Savings would not be on the top of my list of things to change. There are some more pressing issues (see: world hunger, cancer, 2016 US election politics) to which I'd probably attend. But surely come "Spring Forward" I would be reminded of this time change nonsense and put an end to all that noise. Ah, to be the arbiter of all things...
Last night I watched a lovely and inspiring documentary called Alive Inside. Everyone with access to Netflix should take the time to watch this film. It demonstrates the power of music, the tremendous determination of one man, and the triumph of the human spirit. Here's the trailer: It's not terribly long - a little over an hour - and if you are not moved by it, well, I don't know what's wrong with you.
Musicians of all stripes, myself included, question the importance and validity of our work. Society frequently sends us messages that our pursuits are selfish, provide no value, or are generally unwanted. This film refutes that. Music matters. Music is about the heart and soul of humanity. Music makes us who we are. Last year at this time, I was in tech week for Opera on the James's production of Carmen. I loved my time working for this company, and I really enjoyed the production. This year, they are preparing for a Rigoletto. Shout out to my friends and colleagues in Lynchburg, VA. Wishing I was there to see you perform! If you're anywhere nearby, check out this fantastic company doing really great work. I spent the evening at a friend's birthday gathering. The attendees at this event included two composers, an actor, a choreographer, a filmmaker, and me. They were all, undoubtedly, smarter than I am and I found myself humbled by my lack of knowledge about several topics of conversation - although I definitely held my own in the area of vocal style and the operatic tradition. I left the evening feeling exhilarated by stimulating conversation and embarrassed by many glaring holes in my knowledge of certain topics of great global significance. On my way home, I made a promise to myself to read more.
I also have a group of girlfriends with whom I have an ongoing group text. We hear from each other most days about both the mundane and the extraordinary events of our daily lives. Every day I am humbled by each of their strengths, insights, and commitment to personal growth. They make me strive to live a better, more meaningful, more honest life. They inspire me to let go of things that do not serve me and to think about things in new ways. I am a better person because of these ladies. I hope you, dear reader, also have people in your life who challenge you to grow and learn. We are in the midst of #OperaWeek, as ordained by Opera America, an organization dedicated to strengthening the opera community. Today is, specifically, #OperaAdvocacy day, on which members of the community are asked to lobby lawmakers to support legislation that benefits our beloved art form. They've provided lots of information, if you'd like to be involved.
Another way that you can be a great advocate for opera is to actively support organizations that promote, produce, or perform opera. Here's a list of my favorites (with minimal apologies for my obvious biases). Give them money. Go to see their performances. Share their news with your network. Boston Opera Collaborative: an organization devoted to developing entrepreneurial artists, who will be the future of opera in America. Their production, Opera Bites, will be performed November 11-13. Indie Opera Podcast: bringing an independent voice to the opera industry. There are 30 episodes available for your listening pleasure. Enjoy! Resonance Works | Pittsburgh: a performance organization that not only performs opera, but also chamber music, choral music, orchestral music, and everything else you can imagine at venues across Pittsburgh. Their annual production of holiday favorite, Amahl and the Night Visitors, will be December 16 & 18. You can also find out what is going on in your area through the National Opera Week calendar of events. Buy tickets. Invite your friends. Show up. Donate. Support opera. |
AuthorOpera singer, opera producer, podcast co-host, lover of music, travel, food, and all things mind-bending. Archives
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